I'm not a fan of swearing, believe me. But when teachers do it, it's so unbelievable that it's almost funny. These are the funniest instances I remember of teachers swearing...
Mrs.Flamingo
First of all, her name isn't really Mrs. Flamingo. She just really likes flamingos, and I wouldn't want to use her name on here without permission.
We're sitting in English class, listening to Mrs. Flamingo talk about genres, and we're on the romance genre. And when she's talking about something she has a particular opinion about, she can go on forever. Not to say that she isn't awesome and funny--she is. She's just very passionate and opinionated. Opinionated people can go on forever. I would know--I'm one of them.
Talking about the romance genre, of course Twilight by Stephanie Meyer is going to come up. And when it does, the next thing you think of is the sparkling of the vampires it's the next subject. I personally feel she put a very creative spin on it--Mrs. Flamingo thinks it was creative, but... why? That's what I'm wondering too. Is there science or something behind that?
Anyway--she gets on to the topic of sparkling vampires and the thing that pops out of her mouth is: "What the H?" and she actually says H--she doesn't even say the word. The expression on her face is so funny, too. It's a mixture between disbelief and confusion, with her mouth hanging open and her head kind of bobbing around. Then she repeats it, "What the H?" only this time she says it, and of course the students start chuckling to themselves.
Teenagers are so stupid, in case you didn't know. We have problems.
The other time was a little more, ah, serious. And she always tells us: "Shut up." and she means it. She doesn't say, "Be quiet, guys. Sit down. We have work to do," like most teachers. Nope, she says very crisply: "Shut up." And we usually do.
This time, we were all out of our seats, talking and waiting for the bell to release us so we could go home and this what she says.
"Sit your a**es down."
Yep. You better believe it. Our teacher told us to sit our butts down very colorfully. I don't think most of us heard her, though--which was probably a good thing.
Mrs. Biology
This is my biology teacher, and she's really cool. Whenever I walk into class, she's sitting in one of the student desks and talking to the students, looking like she's one of them.
See what I mean? She's super chill and way cool.
This was her talking about black Friday (but she went Thursday). She told us this story.
Mrs. Biology said she was in Kohls, and she was pushing a shopping cart behind these two ladies who were walking really slow--snails pace. You know how the Kohls baskets have that weird bag that's really deep? They're not like regular shopping carts.
So this lady turns around and says to Mrs. B: "You do realize you've been hitting me with that shopping cart this whole time, right?"
Mrs. B obviously didn't know. I mean, it's not like she can see the front of her shopping cart--anyway, Mrs. B said something she thought was really funny back: "You do realize you've been walking really slow this whole time, right?"
The lady glared at her and muttered: "Why do you have to be such a Bi***?"
Obviously Mrs. B heard her, so she kind of pretended to consider and said: "I try to be, sometimes."
She thought she was really funny. Which she was. Mrs. B tells us: "I think I'm funny," with this funny expression. Expressive teachers are hilarious. And when we mention that she thinks she's funny she says, "I don't think, I know I'm funny."
So that's Mrs. B.
Sister Lister
Lister is my favorite. She's hilarious.
I don't even have her as a teacher, but I go see her anyway. She's kind an unofficial mentor.
I've heard her swear before, but only when she was quoting while reading Shakespeare. This time, she said it for real. There are plenty of interesting stories with Lister--she is by far the most expressive teacher I know. She's awesome.
We were sitting in class, and no one would shut up. I was trying to help, but it was no use.
So what does she do?
Says: "Shut the h*** up!"
Go Lister!
After that, everyone shuts up. They were surprised--me, not so much. At that point, Lister straightened up, glared at everyone. "Thank you," she says very formally, and began lecturing on respect.
I respect her, but other students take advantage of her cause she's super cool. That's not cool.
Teachers are the best. Especially Lister.
Moral of today's story: respect your teachers! They're people too! They have lives just like you! Plus, they're pretty cool.
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